Coming back to love

Often times I forget that I am human. That I do make mistakes and I may not always make the best choices. Although I really do have the best intentions, my actions may disprove them. There are many instances, especially now, that my patience is slim to non existent. While I will agree that is nothing to boast about; it is the truth and that is precisely how I choose to live accordingly.

Come back to love, that is where you will thrive.

The past is in the past so as long as we learn from it. We will continue making the same mistakes, often passed down from past generations, if we don’t first look within. We need to do better for future generations. It begins with me because frankly if I don’t walk the walk how could I ever talk the talk?

I have been watching my son and how I respond to him. Such a beautiful soul he has and no I am not just saying that because I am his mother; okay I may be a little biased but still.

Just today, I was so frustrated because he was getting peanut butter everywhere. I put his screaming almost two month old sister in the rocker, wiped his hands and the couch and stormed into the kitchen. Fuming thinking of such a mess that was made. After I came out of the kitchen I noticed his sister wasn’t crying, in fact she was sleeping! He put her pacifier in her mouth and turned it on so it would rock her!

Astounded, I asked him if he did that. He sure did! This boy who I was just mad at two seconds ago blew me away with his kindness. He pushed me right back into love showing me that is where you thrive. In that moment I realized who cares if he has sticky fingers touching everything? Who cares if the place is a mess? My son just lovingly helped his sister to fall asleep. He saw she was distressed and in need of comfort and swooped right on in and helped.

I could either react to the situation as I was doing or I could respond lovingly.

This is a lesson I am grateful for. Not only did it show me to have a little more patience, but it also reminded me that he is learning and is also human. He is seeing what we are doing, how we respond, he is taking it all in. I could either react to the situation as I was doing or I could respond lovingly. I could teach him by showing him as that is exactly how he is learning. Be proud that he was actually eating his peanut butter and apples instead of a happy meal. In order for me to do that I first need to remember that I am not perfect, because that is where the solution exists. I was too concerned with the mess to realize the beauty within that moment. I cant teach him from a place of love if I am unhappy with where I’m at.

I am grateful that I was able to come back to love so quickly, for it shows all of the hard work I have already put in. Whereas I am also grateful for the impatience because that proves that there is work to be done.

I am grateful for being able to be a mother for it has been such a huge catalyst for my growth. Yes I was already expanding but now I need to I have no other choice.

With much love and gratitude,

Angel Leah

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