Happy new years

Being that I already carried the mother title, I figured I knew a little something. I know better to know that I actually know nothing in the grand scheme of things, for there is so much to learn in life.

I remember the days when I first became a mom, I literally knew nothing. My whole world was shaken upside down, and while it was again this time there is something completely different about it.

Sleep deprivation is real. Stress can and will kill you. Motherhood, fatherhood, parenting in general is not for the faint of heart. As my mom always said you kids don’t come with a handbook. I have never heard a more truer statement said.

With my first I knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep but I have never experienced it before. With my second I knew what to expect not that its any easier. I am just more at peace with it. I cherish the moments I have with my kids because I know they are only temporary. I look at my son and I am so proud to be his mom, he is such a sweet kid doting on his little sister. I remember him being this little, where has the time gone?

Being a parent has forced me to take a closer look. To see what it is that I am leaving them, what lessons are most valuable? My kids are my life and I wouldn’t trade being their mom for anything. How lucky I am to have them.

Facing yourself is difficult, but I woild rather do the difficult thing now than have my children face those consequences. They are watching. They are listening. What are you showing them? What are you telling them? Those words you utter under frustration, they are storing it. Those hurtful things you say to yourself about yourself and to others and about others, that becomes their voice. The you can’t do that becomes them.

I thought I knew motherhood. But I don’t. I will always be learning. I do know that by following my heart I can’t go wrong.

I have stressful days, where curse words are most prevalent. I have patient days, where laughter ensues. But all of my days are filled with love; and that I wouldn’t change for the universe.

I am going to start off this year on the right feet. I choose to be the best version of me I can be. I choose to be the best mother I can be. I will remind myself to forgive moments that pain me, kids that test me, people that frustrate me and most importantly me for holding myself to such unrealistic expectations.

Nothing will be perfect when I try, but yet when I stop and appreciate how everything unfolds I realize it already is.

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